2008! - New Year, New Mantra..

the Switzerland Holiday is packed away - Neutrality is over (for January)

You Voted - and Tied. I have decided that for now, black will stay - sorry for those who are having problems with the white type on black background. I am sure this will change at some time, but right now it will remain. Here we go with a new year!!!!

Motivation:

"To understand beauty, one must first understand ugliness."
~Benjamin Franklin

Diary:

2007 Mantra was "Obedience, Not Opinion", given to me by my friend Kendall Carlson, (not the only thing he gave me in 2006 - read on for more information). "Obedience, Not Opinion" was a great mantra for me - when I was feeling tired and not interested in training, when I was craving something that I shouldn't eat, when I was in a place that I was tempted by my own ego (what I thought I NEEDED at that moment to make me feel better) - I could remind myself "Obedience, Not Opinion". It helped me to put my life and my goals back into perspective. The obedience to the long-term goal trumps the immediate short-term opinion, sometimes based on fear, sometimes on peer pressure, sometimes on a poor self-image of myself, my opinion of myself and my place on this earth was really twisted for a while, and this mantra was of great benefit to me in my health and fitness goals.

However, I learned something near the end of 2007, during my Swiss vacation - a month long retreat from my "getting things done" routine. During this "break", I stopped journaling, stopped going to my noon-time run/lift, stopped measuring my food, stopped reading labels, stopped abstaining from alcohol, stopped taking my vitamins and supplements regularly, and stopped measuring/weighing in to track weekly goals.

Here is what I learned:

1. I gained weight! What a surprise, I sarcastically jest. The great part of this weight gain is that I feel like a bloated, lethargic, hideous beast! It is exciting. (I know, I know, some readers, especially family, will read this and shiver. Why is he excited about gaining weight? Why did he not stick with the direction he was going? What is he thinking?) Just have a little faith - this was the result of a planned break - I sort of needed this - let me explain in #2.
2. I realized how great I felt in November. Everyone I knew kept asking/telling me "You must feel great since you lost all that weight!?!" When the truth was that I was so devoted to the fitness/health "program" that I was never happy, never satisfied, never able to step back and enjoy myself. I didn't feel great - even when running the 5K race, it was HARD, and HARD isn't fun, or at least I didn't think it was. During the break time, I finally had a chance to look in the mirror and see a person that I was getting used to. I liked what I saw, and started to feel great about my accomplishment. Now I feel ok with saying "Yes, I do feel great with my weight loss, but I also feel great that my body is in better condition." Now that I am bloated and uncomfortable, I desire - am hungry for - getting back in fighting condition where I can go for a 3 mile run and have a buzz afterward. The break helped me to realize this.
3. Another thing I realized was that while I was eating right (whole, natural foods), exercising, and taking my supplements, I didn't feel sick - my insides were quietly doing their thing, and I felt healthy. I took 1 day sick from work, due to a food poisoning, and never once felt home-bound due to a stomach ache or malaise. Since I have stopped my regiment, I have a stomach that is constantly bothering me, headaches, gas and indigestion, bloating, and an all-over "greasy" feeling in my body - like my blood has sludge in it. It is nasty and I feel like just staying inside and not being social or productive. My energy level is declined and I don't feel motivated to do anything above and beyond basic tasks. Again, this is such a BLESSING! The blessing is this - I spent years with this feeling, and thinking this is just how I am - a natural feeling that I will live with. I now know that this is the most un-natural feeling that I should have. I have lived the last year+ feeling motivated, productive, energetic, empowered - and that is the real me.
4. Maintenance is somewhat of a misnomer. I am not saying that it would be impossible for me to stay in a maintenance mode, however recently I have discovered that it may be better to be in a "cutting" or "bulking" mode - never in a "maintenance" mode. For the last 9 months, I was in an extreme "cutting" mode, limiting my calories and upping my aerobic exercise. What I have been doing for the last month is NOT "bulking". Bulking is adding calories specifically to add lean body mass, while limiting body fat. In bulking, you may change up the fitness routine to add core muscle toning, but reduce running and aerobic activities that you would do during cutting. This way, you never stay at the same weight, you are adding and reducing, but never adding fat deposits. Now, I have not been cutting or bulking, I have been doing something I now like to call "reverse liposuction". Ha! The plan for 2008 is to restrict "cutting" to only 12 weeks or less, then switch to a "bulking", allowing for more food options, without going overboard in either direction. I would never encourage someone to doing the extreme cutting that I did. It worked, but I think it wasn't as healthy as it could have been. Long term, I think the practice is the way to go, but modifications should be made in more reasonable time-periods. This whole paragraph didn't make any sense, so this year I need to put this test into practice and I will let you know how it works as we go along. It is a more Kaizen approach (little steps) which I think makes more sense for a life-long, sustainable health program.
   
5. Journaling, Planning, and Measuring are a pain - but they work. A month with any Accountability or Self-Discipline results in exactly what you put into it. I met a man during my break who was interested in losing weight, and indicated that he was "working on it", but I witnessed him eating nachos, fried chicken wings, beer, something called "colorado bulldogs", and other snacks along the way. He was asking for my advice on what I did to lose weight. Huh. What do I say? I just tried to give a "you can do it" raw raw talk, when in reality I should have said "You are what you eat!" It is hard - I will say that it is very hard to give up your own desires and bow to Accountability and Discipline. However, I still do believe that we are built with the Will Power to overcome our obstacles. Habits and Motivation can help conquer Cravings. Another thought on this subject can be found here. I didn't just wake up one day and start losing weight - I used my tools and techniques to set up an environment for me to accomplish my goals. The goal just happened to be losing fat, but your goal could be anything. If you have a goal to save more money, but you never open a savings account, what good is your goal? You have to put the structure together and then make small steps to do it. I honestly don't think he would have been able to appreciate a lecture on discipline and self-control, and it probably wasn't the time or place. I do wonder if people think it is as easy at I made it look. It wasn't / isn't easy. mmmmmm maybe I have an idea....

NEW MANTRA FOR 2008!!!!

"SIMPLE IS NOT EASY"

What does this mean? Well, I may be reflecting on this throughout the year. It may seem to be a very plain thing, but it does have layers. Being "simple" doesn't equate to "lacking judgment", although my first search of the Bible might give you this impression. I would propose that living simply is perhaps more complex than you may believe.

Over the next 12 months, we may drop in on this thought from time to time. We may try to answer a few questions:

• What would a simple diet look like?
• Is a complicated fitness plan better than a simple exercise routine?
• How would your day unfold if you focused on the simple?
• How would you organize your home to simply find the things you use?
• What would a simple budget look like? Where would you spend your money?
• Do you like to pamper yourself with luxurious gifts, or are you satisfied with simple rewards?
• What are the simple things that you use every day, yet you would find yourself lost without?

I remember sitting on the Cannon River with my friends, a baguette and a nice cheese and some apple cider. Talking and watching the river and enjoying our snacks. It was so simple - but it is still one of my most entertaining, enjoyable memories of college years. Simple folks talking about simple things on a very simple day.

Living Simply does take some effort, however. This years goals will be focused on the simple life, but that doesn't mean it will be easy.... this could be exciting!

Notes:


Random note: Today (January 2) is the coldest day of the year. (Since we have only had 2 days, not a big record, huh.) It was -4 degrees according to my thermometer, and that is a pretty impressive number.


New Year's Gifts - a follow-up to the Hong Kong Suits:

If you haven't read the story about Sitlani Custom Tailors, search the blog for this post. It is somewhat interesting, I guess. The short story is that in 1994 I purchased thousands of dollars worth of suits, coats, pants and shirts from a tailor in Hong Kong. When I returned from my trip, they were just right, but I had no reason to wear them. As I grew and grew, the clothes were no longer the right size to fit me and they were left in a closet as "someday" outfits.

When I lost my first 100 lbs, I didn't change pant/shirt sizes. It was very frustrating, but for some reason I lost a century of weight, but still had the same body frame. I tried on the Hong Kong suits a year ago, and they were still too small. I put the clothes back in the closet. I was getting frustrated and sad. I had spent so much on these clothes, and have carried them with me to 4 different homes - they were a physical representation of a dream that was lost and my struggle to get back to a respectable size. And I still couldn't use them.

Fast forward to July 2007. My sister and mother are in town to visit and they have brought some hand-me-downs from other family members. I am trying them on, and thinking "I bet I could wear my Hong Kong Suits". So I try them on and they FIT! I show them to my sister and she says "Oh, those are too big for you, they make you look frumpy." I had surpassed the weight loss to be able to use these clothes that I had been carrying with me for all these years. I was sad and upset about this. I spent so much emotional energy on wanting to be able to use the Hong Kong suits - and now I have nothing to show for it.

I ended up sending this off to other family as hand-me-downs, leaving me with no suits that fit me. The last suit I had was for my size 62 waistline body, and my hopeful "new" suits were now too big for me.

Fast-Fast-Forward to New Year's Eve Day. I called my friend Cheryl to wish her a Happy Birthday and Blessed New Year. She thanked me and indicated that she was packing for her family's move and had a few sweaters that she thought would be my size and wanted to know if I would like to have them. Sure! I can use sweaters. I dropped by to find them busily packing and preparing for a move and got a chance to speak with them about all sorts of things. I realized how much I will miss them, and was reminded that I appreciate their wisdom, humor and friendship.

Kendall jumped up and stated that he was sure there were other things that he had not had a chance to pack. He came downstairs with an armful of clothes and encouraged me to try them on. I did and they were "almost" perfect fit. If I was at my November size (which I should be back at in Feb/March timeline) they would have been excellent fit. They were all very handsome sports coats and I really liked the way I looked with them on. Kendall's mom indicated that I would be a very handsome date wearing these jackets. I agreed.

I left with a dozen sports jackets, a basket of shirts and pants and a bag of sweaters. I also left with a huge boost of encouragement and energy to get re-started with my fitness plans for the upcoming month and a bunch of real, physical goal markers that I will enjoy using.

I don't know how to thank my friends for their gift of clothes. It more than makes up for the loss of the Hong Kong suits - it was a real need and a blessing from out of nowhere. I have to find a way to thank them. I think part of it will be to get back into lean shape, then get some quality portrait pictures taken using my new clothes. I can't wait to have them see the shot in the arm that they gave me just at the right time.


more later,

Chazz

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