Facebook, Twitter, and Eharmony - communication in the virtual world.

Happy Independence Day from everyone at "Chazz Vader's Intelligent Design"!

picture is from a recent baseball trip to Chicago. this trip marks the beginning of Memphis' first twitter message.



Motivation:

"He who would learn to fly must first learn to walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying." -Nietzshe

Diary:

I have social networking to blame for my lack of blog writing over the last month. Social networking - both live and virtual, has been sort of taking over my thoughts and I think we are teetering (tweetering?) close to the word "addiction". I do enjoy reconnecting with people and meeting new people, and I have had fun, but am not sure that this is very productive. That being said, if you want to connect with me, and know what I am doing on a regular basis, the best way to stay in touch is through one of the following sites (if not through my blog) :












Three other sites I have enjoyed in the last month include www.geni.com, www.plaxo.com, and www.meetup.com.

Oh, and I forgot - but maybe I have been spending the most amount of my time online at dating sites, such as eharmony, match, yahoo, and okcupid. After a while, I get tired of these sites, and tired of "chatting" with people out on the wire. Although, I also get tired of meeting people at bars, events, and "out there" in the real world, so things really aren't that different. I found the following true for real life networking as well as virtual networking:

• be confident and know what you have to offer and can do for others
• give of yourself willingly in order to serve others
• listen to others - be open to provide a shoulder to lean on
• don't interrupt - are you still listening? sometimes teaching and helping doesn't involve speaking or taking over, until asked to
• if / when asked, help to solve the problem without questioning or judging
• ask for help. you will find out what people are great at by asking for others to guide you when you have problems
• be reliable. always follow through if you say you are going to help someone.

Social Networking is all about Making Connections - what is the purpose? Looking at the definition of "Networking" tells us the following:

• Two or more people that communicate with each other and share resources.
• Expanding one's sphere of influence by initiating mutually advantageous relationships.

Cool! I love these definitions - In order to expand your mutually advantageous sphere of influence, you should really know who is out there, and understand how others can help, and how much you can offer to the people in your network. This has to happen through good communication and follow-up. Do you have good communication and follow-up with your sphere of influence? How can you improve this? Does technology help? How can we use twitter and facebook to help share our resources and communicate with each other? If you have an idea, please comment at the end of this message.

Scott Abel, (The Content Wrangler) has posted this article on his site (with a very funny video, check it out) that pokes some fun at people like me who are addicted to social networking sites.

If you liked the article link above, the following video also points some fun at some of the popular social networking sites:

SIMPLE IS NOT EASY

So, I looked at my list of goals for the "120 Day Push" and reallize that I have been ultimately a procrastinator. I could blame it on the social networking, or I could list the other things I have been working on in the last 30 days, such as travelling to Chicago, Dallas, and Central Nebraska, or learning and working on the new projects at work, taking country dancing lessons, or playing with the band, or being involved in the STC (nominated as Secretary of the board), or the myriad of other things that happen. It couldn't be, could it, that I have been seduced by summer events and eating and drinking usually follows these outings (don't stand in line for free wings at BW3, that is my advise - learn from my mistakes...) However it happened, my priorities have slipped, and starting Monday the 120 days starts all over again, only this time I have a little more incentive and desire.

I recently found an unintended groups of supporters - I thought it would be different, but was gladly surprised how things turned out...

I went to my sister's high-school reunion weekend and met some of her classmates, then the next day ran into some of my classmates and my high-school football/wrestling coach. I expected to feel awkward, but was surprised at the number of people who have been non-verbally cheering me on from a distance - people who I never thought would be "on my team", who came up to me to give me a hug and just say - "you look great". That pat on the back and reminder has encouraged me to stay motivated and keep my eye on the prize. It is amazing how the right word from the right person and the right time can put you back into focus on what is important in your life. One of the things that was said at the Reunion Banquet was that we all (our classmates) helped to form the people who we are today, and we have our childhood friends and peers to thank for putting their hand into the form that we are today. I agreed with this statement, and was reminded that even our failures in life help to form the person we are today. Our pain and baggage, and the people who were around us to support us and help us are part of our DNA - and make us the people we are today. I thank my classmates from Loomis High for the influence they had in my growth and I hope that I was an influence in their lives as well. This "step into my past" was a real eye-opener, and a reminder that I need to stay connected to my past friends and partners. I will encourage all my classmates to join Facebook, and be my friend.

The other unlikely source of encouragement has come from my recent dating experiences. I expected it to be an awful, embarrassing series of events, filled with pain and despair, reminding me of all my flaws and incompatibilities, but I have found that in reality, it is the opposite. I guess the point of finding a long-term partner is to find someone who actually cares about your success and failure and wants to share these with you and be another member of your "team", only in a more intimate setting. Wow, how did this just hit me? Like the classmates I spoke about, the dating world is filled with people who have experiences (some good, some bad) and have a unique DNA. That is a wonderful, joyful thing. It is interesting to learn more about their past and enjoy the person who has emerged from that past. So, I am finding that my dating is actually getting me to see another side of my goals and incentives - that through the eye of a partner who is thinking the same thing that I am - which is - "She makes me feel better about my life - What can I do to make her life better?" and "How wonderful and strong she is - I want to make her feel like she is very special." Since I am feeling this about her, I can only hope that she is feeling this about me... what a wonderful partner to have in my corner.

With this knowledge, I am now having more interesting, deeper conversations with my married friends about their lives, and how they interact and work together in their "family team". It expands my idea of "Renaissance Man" to consider a "Renaissance Family", working together.

I have a lot to learn.

more later,

Chazz

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz