I just couldn't wait - so I cheated....

Song'o'the'day:
Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation
"Come on baby I'm tired of talking.
Grab your coat and let's start walking
A little less conversation, a little more action
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark"

Motivation:
The actual is limited, the possible is immense. -LaMartine
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The 2nd part of the "Focus on the Family" program about weight loss with Nick Yphan-tides, M.D., the family physician who formerly weighed 467lbs and lost 270lbs without surgerycan be found here: http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Focus_on_the_Family/Default.asp
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Diary:
b: eggs and sausage
s: ham and veggie salad (vitamins: Daily, Balanced Health, Lecithin E, Digestive Enzyme)
l: lean cuisine and xs energy
s: ham and orange and cheese
d: Beef Tenderloin Medallions (banquet at work)
gym: ran 1.5 mile on elliptical (330+ calories) and walked 1 mile.

Notes:
I have setup a new goal - October 2-8 is the Homecoming week for my Alma Matter and during the weekend there is a morning 5K run and a tailgate party. My wisconsin friend and I will plan on meeting in early august to plan the 8 week training plan for the 5K. I will need to be ready for this preperation. He indicated to me that if I am already doing one-mile walks, that's 1.6k. I will need to get my endourance up to handle the full 5K. That will be fun.

Ok. I promised that I wasn't going to try on smaller clothes until after the Feb 18 weigh-in, but tonight is an awards banquet for my company (not that I am receiving any award) and it is supposed to be rather swanky, so I thought I would put on a nice shirt and tie. Last night while I was putting clothes together, I found that my current wardrobe made me look frumpy. So I grabbed a 58 pant and 4x white shirt, and I felt much better. The pants zipped and the shirt buttoned! I look big in the size smaller clothes, but I think this is a better motivation than swimming in the clothes that are a size too big. Now I can work to make the new size fit better.

So I cheated on my plan, but I think that is ok. I just can't wait to start wearing the 4x size and mark one more goal as finished!

I can't wait to put another notch on my belt.

on Saturday, I have lots of work to do, but I think I will be taking a day off of the workout. My legs need a day of rest and light work around the house. Saturday night I go to a drumline show, and sunday is the SuperBowl!

I will write again on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Chazz.

Focus on the Family

Motivation:
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Today's motivation comes from the radio! Today on KTIS the "Focus on the Family" program dealt with weight loss and was a timely message for me.
Nick Yphan-tides, M.D., is a family physician who formerly weighed 467lbs and lost 270lbs without surgery. You can listen to his story here: http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Focus_on_the_Family/Default.asp
His website is here: http://www.healthsteward.com/
One of the things he speaks to is the weight loss journey that was a pilgrimage of personal discovery and spiritual growth. "If a 467-pounder can receive the strength and ability to do what I have done, with God's help, so can YOU!!!"
One of the things he notes in the message is that he was using food and his weight as his crutch for comfort and excuse for not doing things that were uncomfortable. He found that once he had removed the action of eating when challenged he had a need to fill that gap with faith in Jesus to provide his comfort. God never intended food to replace the role that he desires in our lives.
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Diary:
B:eggs and sausage
S: turkey and grapes
L: lean cuisine, turkey and xs energy
S: Peanut butter and celery, cheese
D: salmon steak fillet and shrimp - snow peas or green beans
Workout: ran 16 minutes on elliptical (56rpms-) and walked 1 mile.

Notes:
During my workout, I heard "Unwell" by Matchbox20. I enjoyed applying these lyrics to my weight loss challenge. "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell, but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see, A different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired. I know right now you don't care, But soon enough you're gonna think of me, And how I used to be...me" I started laughing during my elliptical workout thinking about what those lyrics will mean in, oh, about 4 - 6 months from now.
.... I love XS Energy Root Beer Flavor. I am taking a sip now and it is soo candy-like. I feel like I am drinking a candy bar.... I digress

I am finding it difficult to eat enough. I am supposed to have a lunch that is around 500-600 calories, but I am finding it difficult to eat that much at that time of day. I know that if I don't I will get in trouble later in the day.

Storytime (Good story, Bad story):
This morning I was reminded that things are slowly changing.

Bad story: a couple years ago, my father had hip surgery, and I went home to "help" around the house while he was recovering. I had some vacation time and decided to use it to be at home.
I decided to help pull some bulbs from the garden and put them into the front loader scoop of the small tractor that my father owns.
This tractor was smaller than a field tractor, but bigger than a lawn tractor. It was a small utility tractor used for mowing ditches and scooping dirt/snow in the driveway. It was used for other projects as well.
I went to the tractor to drive it over to the garden, and found that this tractor that I used to enjoy driving for hours as a youth, there was something different. I was having problems using the tractor.
I reallized that my stomach width was so enormous that I could no longer fit in the seat. The seat was too narrow and there seemed to be no room between the seat and the steering wheel. This was very embarrassing as I was trying to figure out a way to get in to the tractor. I moved the seat as far back as possible and the steering wheel as forward as possible. Still no go. My obese fat fold was jammed into the steering wheel almost dissallowing me to move the tires.
By the time I had got the tractor to the garden, I was so tired and emotionally drained that I couldn't even pull the bulbs out.
Finally a neighbor of my parents came by and pulled the bulbs out so I could gather them and take them into the garage. This was about as embarrasing a situation as I could handle.
To further add insult, Later that week, I got sick -> I beleive my body was getting back at me for forcing it to work in the garden. It turned out that my big plan for helping my parents around the house was a big embarrasing joke that I hope they will forgive me. Next time I go home I want to be able to easily get in and out of that damn tractor and actually finish a project on my own.
Good Story:
This morning while driving to work, I noticed that there was about 2 inches extra room between the seat of my car and the steering column. I think this is a good sign.
I also feel that my workout clothes (t-shirt and swimming shorts) feel loose and are waving when I walk/run. I think that after next weigh-in, I will need to invest in a new work-out outfit.
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enough for today. tommorow I have to dress-up for a "formal banquet" being given by the consulting company. tonight I am going to look through my clothes to see if I can find nice clothes that I can wear.
I think I have come up with the short list for my first goal rewards. here they are in no particular order:

• nice salt and pepper shakers
• MensHealth Magazine subscription
• PC Computing Magazine subscription
• 'Games' Magazine subscription
• upgrade Cable TV subscription with baseball package (FoxSportsNet, etc)
• new watch band for mickey mouse watch
• Wireless Home Theater System
• Replace grandmother clock (HERMLE MOVEMENTS)
• Kidnap brother-in-law (Jman) to play racquetball at fitness center for 30 minutes.

more later.

Chazz

Good Memories, Bad memories

Motivation:

"Hands of the Potter" by Caedmon's Call

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Lord if i'm the clay, Then i've been left out in the sun

Cracked and dry, like the mud from the sty

Still clinging to the prodigal son

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But I'm on my way back home

Yes I'm on my way back home

Into the hands, That made wine from the water

Into the hands, The hands of the potter

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Lord if i'm the clay then Let your living water flow

Soften up my edges, lord, So everyone will know

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Lord, when you listen for the song of my life

Let it be, let it be, a song so sweet

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Lord, if i'm the clay then lay me down

On your spinning wheel

Shape me into something you can fill

With something real

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"Hands of the Potter" by Caedmon's Call

Here a snippet of the song from Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/7mm44

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Diary:

B: bagel & peanut butter at men's morning group

S: turkey and carrots

L: lean cuisine and turkey and XS energy

S: orange and cheese and turkey

D: not sure. maybe shrimp and veggies? we will see.

workout: ran 16 minutes on elliptical + walked a mile

Notes:

Last night was Bday for Pdog, so I decided to stop at the 'bees' where I used to hang out nightly in the middle of my slump. (when I was younger and not wiser) I had 2 tall Miller Lites= 360 calories total, low carbs, ok choice. I had a protien bar to go with it, that I took from my pocket. That is like, 200 calories, so my evening was a 560 calorie jaunt. So here is the "Good Story - Bad Story" from my memories at the bee.

See the bee serves 6 different flavors of "Long Island Iced Tea" and I had a really stressful job. I made my job and my attitude an excuse for stopping in the bee and joining my coworkers with a cocktail or 13. On 'Rainbow Night', I would consume every color of the Iced Tea available. Problem is, I would get buzzed and then get hungry, so I would order food on top of the drinks. Lets remember that this is after 6pm, so I have already had a lunch, of at least 800+ calories.

the brutal math:

1 Long Island Iced Tea = 789 calories

x6 = 4734

+ McDonalds (big&tasty combo + 2 hamburgers and diet coke) = 1940

Total = 6674 (add 20% as I may be leaving something out) = 8008

this is a conservative estimate, so the real number is probably higher.

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So that is the "Bad Memory", last night was the good memory. Here was what was good about it:

1) It was pointed out by Kelly that my face looked much different than the picture on my license and also on the badge that I wear at work. I can see a difference starting to appear.

2) I was enjoying my view of a cute girl on the other side of the bar. She had blonde hair in pigtails, beautiful eyes and a great smile and laugh. She was wearing a grey sweatshirt, but was revealing a tight pink shirt underneath. She just had a french manicure, which was a turn on for me. I was staring at her for a while, and she would look my way every now and then and smile. I was making jokes to Pat, Ed, Paul and Joanne, and the cute girl accross was laughing and carrying on with the jokes. She was totally digging me. Only problem, she was with three other guys, and I wasn't quite brave enough to talk to her while surrounded by her posse. I can't wait until I am fully confident to take advantage of those situations. Oh I am going to be the ladykiller, that is for sure. The worlds most eligible bachelor. Move over Josh Hartnett.

3) At the end of the night (8:30), Pat asked "when will you be back in for a beer?" My responce: "3 weeks." "Really?" Pat inquired, "well, you had better keep this project going, or else we are all going to kick your ass..... see you in three weeks." That meant a lot for me to have his support. I can't wait to see the look on thier eyes when they see me drowning inside my 4x shirts.

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Other comments:

At the grocery store, the young dude behind the butcher case started chatting with me. "You are losing weight!" he said. "Do I know you?" was my response. He hadn't met me before, but was very encouraging. He gave me a couple peices of advice, and explained that he had just gone through a process of losing a bunch of weight and was just cheering me on. This kid, who I never have seen before, and would have cared less about a year ago took 15 minutes to motivate me about my plan, and give a jolt of support. I was flabergasted.

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A woman at work asked "Are you getting taller?" Nope, but I can see why she is asking. As I start to lose weight, a couple things will happen. 1) My posture is going to improve slightly as I lose the pouch. My back and legs will get stronger and my back will be straighter. 2) It is an opticle illusion. Since I am as wide as I am tall, I appear to be a short stocky fellow. As I lose the girth, my height will appear to be a little unusual. I am excited about being a foot taller. When I pointed out the difference in my picture on my badge and my current face, she indicated that I looked 7 years younger. She initially thought I was 40! ha ha

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Well, I am flooded with things to say, but I am running out of time. I would like to talk about all of the gifts and blessings that I am uncovering as I get more fit. Things like Confidence, Swagger, Flirtations, Self-Respect (and Other-Respect) and Energy to do the kinds of things that I felt were not something that a fat obese lazy man would do. I will have to elaborate on this more later, but I feel like if I can do this weight loss thing, there is nothing that I can't do. It make my work better becuase I am confident to make decisions and prioritize my work in ways that I did not before.

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Tommorow I think I will discuss the small tractor on my father's farm. There is a story there that needs to be told.

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Chazz