Two Tough Questions - Bookends to each other

This Picture is from the Twin-Cities 5K event last month. I was at R's 2-year birthday party this week, and received this picture from another attendee of the party. "Chug-Chug-Chug" - it appears that I am really pushing, but not going very far. I think this was taken near the end of the race and I am looking really winded and somewhat pitiful (that was not a jab, as I would think that most people consider their picture at the end of a race to be somewhat on the pitiful side). However, it was the - best time ever - 32 minutes, which is the new time to beat.

Enjoy!



Wow, there is a ton of stuff that happened this week to discuss - I don't know if I can get to all of it, so here is a wrap-up and I can try and elaborate further as we go:

• News came out this week that "ta-da" - Obesity is linked to Cancer! (no shock here..)
• Had a eureka moment for my Galactosemic metabolic disorder - and have been educated as to what "RAW Foods" are.
  
• Was surprised to find that I had a ready-made Halloween costume - I felt as if I was looking out from under a mask.
• Update from Memphis on his "Worlds Greatest Dad" program.
• Update on new podcast show coming early 2008 - Interview with Kaptain Karl
• I am singing again - at last - I was convicted by Karl to restart my choir rehearsals attendance, and was so glad I did.
  

There are the topics - here comes the rest of the story - (page 2):

Real-time Note: *The smell of greasy french fries is wafting in the air right now - someone is eating a lunch from the grill downstairs, and it is driving me crazy. I will eat a salad and hard boiled eggs, then return to my typing. I didn't realize how extreme that smell affected me, it is very powerful. *

Motivation:

"One of the secrets of life is learning to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks." ~Jack Penn

Diary:

Two tough questions - which are somehow related Last week I received a telephone call from a good friend who was troubled. She has a young friend, a student who is depressed and told her that he was having problems. She called me (I am honored) to ask "What advice would you give to such a person, in the aspect of Kaizen?" "What should I say to this person?'

My initial thoughts included the fact that I cannot really answer the question of "What should I say?", as I could never have the right answer. This is probably impossible. The Kaizen - or step by step approach would be to take little steps. Find something small that can be done, even if it is talking and listening. Maybe find out what this person likes and encourage them to take a small step towards doing that thing. Those were my first thoughts.

In thinking about what my answer should be, I began to think about the other tough question I had last week from someone at my church. We were discussing the spiritual part of my weight loss journey, and I indicated that there were times that were really tough for me - heart wrenchingly tough - where I did not know what to do except cry. I remember calling my sister on one occasion and she asked what was wrong, but I didn't know, other than "it hurts". At the time, I recall seeing a picture that brought up some tough memories, and that started me to be really sad and lonely and needed to talk to someone.

In the middle of my story, the church friend said "Why didn't you tell me you were hurting?"

The answer I gave was the same advice I plan on giving my friend with the troubled student: "I wasn't alone - I had people to lean on. It isn't to say that I wouldn't have leaned on you, but help was provided to me when I needed it. But you never seemed open to me to tell you my inner hopes and fears. Honestly, I didn't know you would be interested, and you never asked to be involved in my life." It is a tough, but honest, answer to hear and our relationship is strong enough to have these deep discussions.

I am thinking about role models and personal helpers as I was growing up. Teachers, Friends of my Parents, My Friends, Community Members, etc. What made me lean on some people as opposed to others? I tended to seek advice and help from those who were there to offer incessant positive reinforcement - I always feel like they are on my side - no matter what. They guard their tongue when there are negative criticisms that they could make, but instead offer positive options for guiding me. I sought out those people as a child, and I still do as an adult. I don't do this well for others, but I hold in high regard those around me who show this ability.

One of the people who does this for me today, recently introduced me to Carl Rogers - who described the development of A Self.

In the development of the self concept he [Carl Rogers] saw conditional and unconditional positive regard as key. Those raised in an environment of unconditional positive regard have the opportunity to fully actualize themselves. Those raised in an environment of conditional positive regard only feel worthy if they match conditions (what Rogers describes as conditions of worth) that have been laid down by others.

In the small amount of reading that I have done regarding Carl Rogers, I have become intrigued, and I think that he falls in line with both Kaizen and Renaissance Thinking. I will pursue his theories further in the next year.

So, what is my answer to the question? It is vague, but hopefully it will give you something to consider in your life. This week's reading in my Church Outreach book speaks of Mercy and Justice. The simple difference between Mercy and Justice is that of a quote attributed to Lao Tzu. "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. " Giving a hungry person a fish is Mercy. Teaching a person how to make his life better is Just. Mercy is a daily task, where Justice is a long-term goal. (Does this sound familiar.) While we strive for Justice as an attribute, we have Mercy in the front of us. According to Rick Rusaw & Eric Swanson in "The Externally Focused Church":

Mercy is giving a person a fish so he can eat today. It's not attacking the problems [of poverty or hunger] at a systemic level, it's just making somone's life better if only for today. Mercy explains why Jesus so willingly fed the five thousand (the only miracle recorded in all four Gospels) and later the four thousand. He didn't lecture them about how to plant wheat for a future harvest. Rather, he said "I have compassion for these people...I do not want to send them away hungry' (Matthew 15:32). He did not solve the world's hunger problem, but he did make these lives better for that afternoon.

Sometimes we are paralyzed by inaction. Faced with the enormous problems in our world today, we are overwhelmed and wonder, "What good will this little act of kindness do?" But Jesus said, "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:36). Maybe Mother Teresa expressed it best: "We can do no great things; only small things with great love."

I am no saint, so I say this with humility in my own flaws: I encourage you to do small things with great love - look for ways to show Mercy to those you are in contact with. Become that person, who a year from now, someone will point to and say "You were there for me when I was needing someone to help, and it made all the difference." Show others love and support... I need to try to do this better, and I will commit to this challenge with my other challenges.

In my list of goals below, #9 is a reminder to me to "BE SIGNIFICANT" but it isn't meant to be for my benefit. I need to be significant to those around me for their benefit as well. I may never solve systemic global problems like sustainable farming for hunger reduction, but I can lend a hand to my co-worker or a smile to the neighborhood kids - the question is - why don't I?


Notes:

Scientist find link between body fat and cancer risk
The World Cancer Research Fund recently reported that there is evidence that excess body fat can cause six different types of common cancers, including those affecting the breast, bowel and pancreas. The study also found that processed meat, was such a risk factor for bowel cancer that people should avoid it completely. The report says there is powerful evidence that excess body fat is also a trigger for oesophagus, pancreatic, bowel, post-menopausal breast, and kidney cancers.
Processed meat is defined as meat preserved by smoking, curing, salting or the addition of preservatives. Examples included deli meats - deli-turkey, deli-chicken, ham, bacon, pastrami, salami, and frankfurters.

I would warn you that "healthy foods" can be hidden as processed. Even deli turkey, which you would think is a more healthy choice, can be processed by the addition of salts, sugars, other preserves, and it is a candidate for smoked, honey'ed and other processing. Be aware that anything that you see cut out of a package is "processed", even if it is supposedly a healthy food.


Update on Memphis Evan's (Worlds Greatest Daddy)

I received an email from "Anonymous" visitor (please leave a comment, but I would personally appreciate it if you would try to give some sort of clue to who you are - it is just nice for me to know) asking for an update on the WGD program from Memphis: His response:

"The biggest change is that I don't use the checklist
every day anymore. This month I have used it six
times. Generally I feel I don't need it anymore, but I
used it today. Why?

From the moment I reluctantly got out of bed this
morning I knew it would be a hard day. I just did not
feel like being a stay at home parent today. I wanted
to do something with grown ups. Something that would
use my non-child care skill set. Something that would
allow me to be me, not Daddy.

But here I was and here I am. The girls were relying
on me and I can not let them down. Ever. I did what I
needed to do and brought the most positive attitude I
could dredge up. I got on the floor and played and
sang. I made breakfast and bottles then did dishes and
washed the bottles. Was my heart in it? Eh. Sort of.

I have a huge to do list on the refrigerator white
board right now and it's really bugging me. I get one
thing done (research and buy new oven) and another one
pops up (get counter top altered to fit new oven).
These are all just administrative, basic life needs
and they aren't being accomplished. This is not even
considering the question of my recording, performing,
and writing of music, which is similarly neglected.
Despair.

But I did a few things on the WGD checklist, just ran
down it methodically, starting a load of whites so
I'll have clean socks, sterilizing the bottles I'd
cleaned from breakfast, restocking the diaper changing
stations, etc. As I put in the little Xs I almost felt
like I was accomplishing something grown up even
though no other grown ups were around. And now my
house and family will be better for my having done the
work.

Maybe tonight I will get some studio time even. I also
need to practice for my upcoming extremely rare solo
show. Maybe tonight I can create a set list and begin
practicing. So the WGD program helped me immensely
today and the benefit is rippling out to my napping
children and beyond."

Chazz sings
This weekend, I received an email from Kaptain Karl, who was bragging a bit of his experiences with his Barbershop Choir in Wisconsin. He should brag - I have seen several shows, although I missed it this year, and they are really very good. Even better than the quality of the music is the feeling that singing gives and the quality of the men in the group. Just the casual discussions after the show prove the heart of the men in the choir and their love for singing good music - it is infectious.

After reading his email and understanding his joy in the accomplishment, I realized it was time for me to get serious about my music. I enjoyed singing before, and have not been doing it because I was looking for the right venue (church, etc). I forgot that I had a good place to sing, the local community men's choir. I wasn't with them, and decided that I would drag myself in to see if they are still around. I think Woody Allen is quoted as saying "Eighty percent of success is showing up."
So on Monday evening I went to the men's choir practice, and was met with the same men who I had sung with before, 2 years ago. When they saw me, they were unaware of this "new guy", but a couple of guys quickly realized who I was. It was a little surreal after that. I was struck by them clapping at my return and at my weight loss goals and success so far. I was blown away and left inspired to continue. I was filled with joy to have these men, who are connected to me only by song, so excited to see what I was doing and so curious to find out more. They were asking me if I would show them before and after pictures, some hints and tips for them on eating healthy and other off the cuff questions - and I was not prepared to answer. The next day, I got an email about upcoming singing events and this message:

"It was great to see you back and I hope you can participate as much as possible. I confess, I was one of those who didn't recognize you at first. What a disguise! We've always loved you but I'm sure you'll understand why we can't love you quite as much now (kidding of course).

I don't know how you did it but I'm sure your weight loss has made a big difference in your life and health. Enjoy,

Tom"

The next night, I stopped by the old watering hole, and ran into some former co-workers and my regular friends Ed and Pat. As we were talking, one of "the twins", a bartender from another joint in town, sat down and said hello to Ed and Pat. He completely ignored me at first, then Ed said, "Are you going to say hi to my friend?" He said hello, and didn't have any recognition that we actually had known each other for years. We played poker together, had drinks together, and shook hands on many many occasions. Similar to the men in the choir the night before, he now had no clue who I was.
Ed looked at me and said "He doesn't know you!" - laughed under his breath and then repeated it "He doesn't KNOW YOU." While I understood where he was going, I replied "Does it really matter?" He indicated that while it may not matter to the twin, it mattered to Ed. I didn't say anything at the time, but at that moment, it felt like I had a mask on, and was looking out from under the eye-slits in the mask. I was looking right at the guy, and he didn't know who I was from Adam. Now this has happened 4 or so times in the last month, and I expect it will happen again. It is a bizarre feeling, like watching someone with Alzheimer's, who is looking right at your eyes, but has no recollection of all the memories of you as a person. While at that moment I had very little way of explaining it with words I appreciate Ed's comments, and loved the fact that he saw what I saw - briefly through my eyes - I will keep this memory close to my heart as I get discouraged and need extra motivation.

What a Halloween memory.


RAW Foods - a revelation
The holidays are approaching, the "food-based holidays" as I am now referring to them, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. These 4 horsemen of weight gain are fast on our heels and I need to be prepared. I am hungry for a treat! My mom's Orange Cookies.

hmmmmmmmmm orange cookies - you had to be there. They were so good, that they had odes and poems written for them. Family members would promise "feats" of grand scale to get their hands on them. Oh, what to do about this problem. I would dive into a barrel of holiday treats, if my guard were down..

I have to do something - then I found it. A Homemade Milky Way Bar using "Raw Food Ingredients"! Oh my - this is such a find for me, because it hits several of my target areas around food:

1) No Milk, due to Galactosemia
2) No chemical ingredients, such as High-Fructose Corn Syrup and commercial dyes and fillings.
3) Small number of ingredients that I can spell and understand where they came from.
4) I control the calories, sugar content so I could fit this into my fat loss diet.
5) Fairly easy to make, no special appliances required

This "find" opened me up to a whole world of "Raw Foods". What are Raw Foods? In general,
Raw Foods have no milk, no fat, little carbs, ingredients are whole, real or natural. The sweetener in Raw foods is usually from "alternative sources".

I thought that I would be turned off by the "hippie freak" part of Raw foodism, which according to Wikipedia is the lifestyle promoting the consumption of uncooked, unprocessed, and often organic foods as a large percentage of the diet. Raw food diets include a selectıon of raw fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds (including sprouted whole grains). Raw foodists typically believe that the greater the percentage of raw food in the diet, the greater the health benefits. Some believe raw food highly encourages weight loss and prevents and/or heals many forms of sickness and many chronic diseases that are seen as incurable by the medical community.

Huh? Have I become a vegetarian, fruit-nuts-and-berries, hippie freak? Yes, but add some eggs, beef, fish, chicken, and other foods. I can still be a Nebraska Corn-Fed Beef supporter, can't I?

If you want to try to eat more Raw foods, and are curious about how to substitute, I found this site that tells more: Veggie Kitchen in a Nutshell
And I need to remember this site for my Galactosemic friends - Go Diary Free Grocery List

So, I just need some Time and Energy at the end of a day to go find some Raw ingredients and make some treats. I will try to take something simple with me for my Thanksgiving trip, so that I will have something to nibble on while the rest of the family is knee deep in left-over Orange Cookie crumbles.


Wow! We made it - long post today, but gosh-golly there was a lot going on (inside and out). Next week I will have a weigh in and measurement update. I will try to update my charts for lifting and running and I will share some more stuff that I have found on the Internet.


Goals!
Full Spreadsheet is found here:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=pd_MzRMQiFVTY8vIzZWnNTQ&hl=en

Geek / Professional Goals
1.	Learn Adobe Dreamweaver Read "Dreamweaver CS3 Visual Quickstart Guide" by Peachpit Press and start building a website using Dreamweaver.	No progress this week. The book is sitting where it was a week ago.
2.	Other studies	No progress this week. I am falling behind in my Nutrition class, and need to catch up with the lessons.
3.	Get involved in Professional Peer Networking	I am now a STC Technical Publications Judge. I received my 3 submissions from NY Metro and am ready to get into them and see how this process works.
Health / Fitness Goals
4.	Lose the last of my fat - Turn "love pillows" into "love handles" - Eat a variety of "Real Clean Healthy" foods - Sleep well - Take my daily supplements and water - commit to fitness routine	Followed my Eating Diary all week Fitness Plan on M, T, W, Th, F Bed by 11pm Lost 3lbs this week
5.	Be a lean muscle-bound stud - Lift the Statue of Liberty - Lift weights M, W, F - 6000lb minimum each workout	Lifted weights on M, W Lifted 33,285 lbs of weight during circuit training workouts Will update Statue of Liberty Chart the first weekend of every month
6.	Beat my own time in 5K - Run from Denver to Chicago - Run/Jog/Walk 3+ miles each Tu, Thur, Sat	Ran 6.5 miles Will update the Google Map the first weekend of every month. Plan on participating in the Reindeer Run in Minneapolis.
Social / Creative Goals
7.	Transfer Old Home Movies to DVD	No progress this week. Need to spend an hour testing my hardware setup as proof of concept.
8.	Interview and record my heroes for netcasts	No progress this week. I need to setup time with Karl to finish our interview.
9.	Get involved in church, family, and social network	Started planning for November vacations and family get-together. I am "shopping" around at churches to find events and happenings for young, hip, studly bachelors like myself. Just looking to venues to connect.
Emotional / Personal Goals
10.	Play the Accordion well - practice 2x weekly - prepare 6 solo songs for a performance to happen by July 2008	No progress this week, although as mentioned, I did up my musical joy by singing with the Eagan Men's Chorus.
Home / Financial Goals
11.	Pay off credit card and personal debt - Save $4000 to be reserved specifically for debt payment	Saved $80 this week into my holding account -> slowly moving forward on the financial debt goals.
12.	Have an uncluttered home, car, book bag and mind. - Declutter house throughout the year - 1 room every 3 months	I made a conscious effort to declutter my bedroom, and this morning as I woke up I felt better. Why does this happen? Maybe it is because I realize there is one less thing I don't like doing that I don't have to do today.

more later,

Chazz

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