These picture were taken by coworkers in Eagan a couple years ago. Mike and Rachel probably remember that day.
That shirt - was one of a handful that I wore when I was big. I think it is long gone in the burn pile since then, but I remember that stained shirt and how uncomfortable it was.
Now here are some more recent photos from November 2007.
Enjoy!
It is starting to become apparent to me that I have lost some weight.
It is the holiday season, I have a decent job, my health is better than ever, I lack very few creature comforts, and yet, I am melancholy again. This happens during December, and it has happened again. I am blue and it didn't help that the other day they changed the billboard on my drive to work. It says "DEPRESSED?" and has a number for a grief counselor. It feels like an advertisement promoting Depression! It makes me depressed just looking at it and thinking "yeah, I am depressed, how did you know?" It is cold outside, the roads are full of snow and ice, it is dark all the time, it is hard to get out and socialize, people are sick with the cold and flu, people are grumpy and easily snap at each other, it is time to be stressed about finances, holidays, family, shopping, work, vacation, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I looked on my calendar today and see the following Appointment: "Start new blog:
- Week 1 - motivation / inspiration
- Week 2 - productivity
- Week 3 - technology
- Week 4 - diet and health
- Week 5 - chefs choice / grab bag"
I was so moody that I didn't even what to THINK about blogging, but maybe that is the best time to write out my thoughts. So, here are the headlines:
- trying vs training - what is the difference?
- weight = up 6lbs this week - why?
- new food linking site - cool way to look at complimenting food choices
- ran on Tuesday too cold - withdrew from the Reindeer run - snowing, windy and cold
- ChristmasFest thoughts
- dead ipod - long live the sansa
Motivation:
"Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game."
~Voltaire
~Voltaire
Diary:
Perhaps part of my down feelings this week are due to my results from my goal list. I was up 6 lbs this week on the scale, and feel bloated and heavy. Could it be due to all the Thanksgiving food I ate: cookies, bars, beers, or maybe it was because I only a couple workouts last week?
I ran on Tuesday last week in preparation for the Reindeer Run, but it was so cold outside that I only ran 1 mile and went back home. I didn't work out on Thursday or Friday due to excuses about time and that I wanted to "save myself" for the run on Saturday, but on Saturday morning it was snowing, windy and super cold. I withdrew from the race, again with the excuse that "I don't want to get sick or injured." But that was a cop-out, and now I feel like once again, I set out to do something and failed - quit - and not even for a good reason. It is not the end of the world, so I am not going to blow it out of proportion, but I am concerned that I failed to complete one of my targets, and am going the wrong direction with my weight-loss and health goals.
I haven't really made progress on my other goals - financial debt reduction, music practice, technical training, book reading, etc. It makes me feel sad.
Another thing that makes me sad? My iPod is officially dead. I am sick of trying to get it to work, and have now started using my sansa for listening to music and news. It sounds whiny and immature complaining about it, but it was a big waste of time and energy for me this last month and I am just stressed out about it. Sick and tired. sick sick sick - this is actually very cathartic and soothing to just keep repeating "sick, sick, sick" to the point that I want to laugh. What a pointless thing to worry about - stupid iPod - why do I spend time on projects that are so futile in the end. I am glad it is gone - phewy - good riddance you piece of technology - you were good while you lasted - so long...
My sansa is almost awesome. It syncs with iTunes, thanks to some third party apps (no thanks to apple or microsoft) and I replaced the sansa operating system with RockBox, which seems pretty cool.
So, basically I replaced one useless tech gadget with another one, but this time I spent under $50 for this gadget, instead of spending $500 for the apple iPod equivalent. The cheaper junk works just as good as the expensive junk did.
Notes:
Wow, are we negative today or what - time to put a positive spin on this blog posting, huh?
I took my former pastor and his family to the St. Olaf Christmas Festival on Thursday, and I am so glad that I did. First and foremost, it was a reminder how much I love and appreciate Kendall and Cheryl and Kris and how good they make me feel. They are going to be a great resource for their new church and community, and I will still be friends with them through technology (their church has an online sermon database) and email.
The Festival was different this year. The theme was "Love and Hope and Peace Abide" and the music was very soft - like a lullaby. I got the idea, to paint a picture of the feeling on Christmas morning as the sun is rising on the glorious day. However, it got a little redundant for me. I really wanted to hear them "break out" with a gut-busting, face-blasting, roof-raising anthem, but I didn't hear it. I remember some years where there was trumpets blaring and the choirs at full voice extolling the Glory of God on High! This particular concert/service was very controlled, very serious, and it was "mystical" and "magical", but didn't give me the "WoW" factor that I am normally left with. As always, the orchestra, under direction of Steven Amundson was awesome - and I really enjoyed the songs arranged by Robert Schulz (Dr Bob).
On Sunday, I listened to a video with my church friends about "Trying vs Training" and it was very appropriate for me to hear - regarding weight loss and fitness goals.
Define "Trying" in a Google search, and I got this:
- make an effort or attempt; "He tried to shake off his fears"; "The infant had essayed a few wobbly steps"; "The police attempted to stop the thief ...
- test: put to the test, as for its quality, or give experimental use to; "This approach has been tried with good results"; "Test this recipe"
- activity leading to skilled behavior
- refers to the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and competencies
The speaker in the video says "Training is arranging your life to achieve certain activities. In order to do what you currently cannot do, you Train yourself by taking specific effort and actions. The result of Training is Transformation."
We don't "try to lose weight" or "try to run a marathon" as this is pointless. Great leaders, great athletes, great role-models don't "try something", they "train, prepare, take action!" This may be old news to many, but for me this was a real light in a dark space. I feel compelled to quote Yoda here, but will refrain as it is too corny of a cliche. I don't think anyone has achieved Transformation by "just Trying" something. Even things that were found "on accident", such as penicillin and electricity, didn't happen from 'just trying' something. They were based on scientific efforts that had deliberate goals in mind. Just because the result wasn't what the discoverer thought they would see is irrelevant. The point is that they weren't "just trying" to discover something, they were actively pursuing some truth or new idea.
Trying to do something assumes a lack of planning or preparation, a missed step of not having a goal in mind. Training is completely different. We are taking action, moving forward towards an objective. Military Training would be different if it was Military Trying. Sports Training would be different if it was Sports Trying. Why should we be any different in our goals - no more trying - start training!
I leave you with this fun thing - i found this link recently and it is right in my wheelhouse - perhaps it will be in yours as well. At this site you select a food item and it tells you what foods and flavors it pairs well with. I am going to use this site in my next kitchen creation. Very fun.
more later,
Chazz
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