Mother's Day

Motivation:

On the mp3 random shuffle today was a timely song. It is odd that this song is on my approved list of songs that motivate my workout, but it is. I like to imagine my folks had this in their thoughts during my birth and stay in the hospital as a child. As you know, I am prone to melancholy, but in a good, motivating way. Here we go:

He's My Son by Mark Schultz:

I'm down on my knees again tonight

I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right

See there is a boy that needs Your help

I've done all that I can do myself

His mother is tired

I'm sure You can understand

Each night as he sleeps

She goes in to hold his hand

And she tries not to cry

As the tears fill her eyes

Can You hear me?

Am I getting through tonight?

Can You see him?

Can You make him feel all right?

If You can hear me

Let me take his place somehow

See, he's not just anyone

He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep

I dream of the boy he'd like to be

I try to be strong and see him through

But God who he needs right now is You

Let him grow old

Live life without this fear

What would I be

Living without him here

He's so tired and he's scared

Let him know that You're there

Can You hear me?

Can You see him?

Please don't leave him

He's my son

Special Mother's Day Motivation: "You are doing very valuable things, using skills learned to take care of the body and mind that God has given to you. It is a terrific adventure, life changing, brave, and encompassing a crowd of loyal and cheering fans! - Mom.

Notes:

b: eggs and turkey sausage
s: protien bar
l: last of the homemade bbq pork and green beans, xs, vitamins, handful of strawberries
s: mixed greens with small amount of bacon-flavored dressing (not good tasting)
d: two hot dogs with the garden works (onion, relish, saurkraut, mustard) at the twins game. Twins win! 10 - 1, beat Chicago. Hat day - everyone got free Twins hats.
g: did the cycle - warm up walk, then run 1 lap, walk 2 laps, run 1 lap, walk 2 laps. Did this 8 times. (if you are a stickler for precision and looking at the training schedule, note that 1 lap is about 60 seconds, and walking 2 laps is more than 90 seconds, but was easier to count laps than seconds, I didn't bring my stopwatch today, but I don't think this matters, because the intent of this training is to ease my body into the jogging "feel". )

Diary:

Bad story - Good story time: This is difficult to explain, you kind of had to be there.

Bad Story: In early December, I went to my friends place in Wisconsin to see his plot of land that he purchased. It was undeveloped when he bought it, and was building a tree-house. We walked out to the site from the driveway, which was not that far, maybe only 1/8 mile (220 yards) and I was already tired, sweaty and out of breathe. when we got to the platform, there was a tiny tiny circular stairs that wrapped around a telephone pole to eventually get to the tree-house which was about 20 to 25 feet in the air. There was a 2 foot gap between the ground and where the staircase started, and I had to PUULLL myself up to the first stairstep, and since there was no banister on the staircase, (a sturdy rope was placed on the telephone pole for balance) I was very nervous about managing the stairs. Kurt encouraged me to continue up, and I did make it to the top of the stairs. I looked around the platform and could not enjoy my visit to his creation. I wanted to marvle by the construction and the nature that could be witnessed, but the entire time, I was thinking "Will this structure hold a 500 lb man?" I didn't dare to walk out to the edge of the platform, just thinking that I wouldn't forgive myself if I broke this work of art. So I just froze. I stood as close to the biggest, oldest looking tree that I could find. I was so embarrased and nervous and akwardly just wanted to get down and go home. I was even more sad when Kurt said "I thought of you as I was designing and building this. I wanted to build the tree-house so that you could enjoy it, too." As he said it, I read into that sentence the following words "so that someone as BIG as YOU could enjoy it." I was so embarrased that Kurt had taken the time to over-engineer safety and stability into this structure to hold that much weight, and I was being such a jerk about not enjoying the experience.. I didn't get it, I just didn't understand what Kurt meant. I was so caught up in my own problems, that I couldn't appreciate the experience.

Just a point here, before we continue with the "Good Story" part. Kurt and his folks have supported and pampered me for years, and Kurt invited me to run the 5K at St. Olaf. Even in November, he indicated that it would be great for me to do the 5K. He knew I was/am big, but he must see something in me that others dont. What potential does that fat man have to run a 5K? Most people think that is a nuts, insane, stupid notion. For some reason, Kurt looked past that. I am very grateful for my cheerleaders. I have a few of these special people, of whom I am so grateful. It is part of the Stockdale Paradox/Principal: seeing the best potential and reaching dreams and goals, while still understanding the reality of the situation. The reality is that I am a big fat lazy guy. The potential is that I am a lean mean ambitious hero. There is a balance here of challenges and hurdles, with endless rewards. My cheerleaders for some reason could keep this in mind and encourage me to do the best and make my goals bigger than I would have ever imagined.
My sister and mom are also in this category. I see the concern in their eyes regarding my health and weight, but they also enjoy my spirit and my humor and want me to have the best in life. That is a great feeling and is, I think, the essence of what "Mothers Day" is about. Your mother is the person who knows almost every detail about your physical nature. She understands your ticks and personality and surprises you with the ideas and suggestions that she has. I appreciate my mom's knowledge of nutrition and cooking, and the way she interacts and associates with others.
ok, I digress... I think we can move on to the rest of the story...

Good Story: fast forward to May. After walking/jogging 3.2 miles on Saturday evening, it was decided that Kurt, Kraig, Calvin and Chazz would go for a nature hike. We went to the Ice Age Trail and took the .7 mile trail up and down the hills and woods. This was a good time. I really enjoyed it. Then we went to Kurt's land and looked at the treehouse. First of all, the walk to the treehouse seemed like childs play. I didn't even notice that we were walking to get down the hill (yes, I reallize now how stupid this sounds. That walk that I ended up panting and breathing just to get through - was DOWNHILL!!!) Kurt had added steps and just finishing a banister for the outside of the stairs, which made it easier, but honestly, on the way up, I didn't even need to use the banister. I just sauntered up the stairs and onto the platform. It was great. I enjoyed the sights of the lake, the trees were greening up, and the sun was shining. It was beautiful, and I was able to enjoy it without having to bend over to catch wind! It was so peaceful and serene. Is this what normal people see in the world? Why didn't I ever notice this? Maybe this is why burly men hunt and fish. The nature is a great place to find yourself in, if you can get there.
So, amidst the beauty of the nature of upper Wisconsin, the birds and trees and sun and air, I reallized what Kurt meant last year when he said "I wanted to build the tree-house so that you could enjoy it, too." This is what he wanted me to enjoy. This feeling of being part of something bigger, and enjoying God's gifts for me. He was improving the tree-house, and I was improving my own house. It hit me right between the eyes. I so much appreciate my friends. I am grateful that I am cared for so well by those that see potential and hope. The strange thing is.. I haven't even gotten started yet... the journey is just beginning, and so much is starting to change..

I was so proud of myself to be able to keep up with my friends on the trails and at the treehouse. Ok, so they were mostly ahead of me, but I am carrying an additional 180lbs, so hey, give me a little break.. I can only imagine the types of things I should be able to do when I lose another 70lbs! There is a lot of work to do before the 5K is over - so I can't get too big of an ego ---- yet ---- (ha!)




Ok, that was a pretty serious story, so let's end this blog with some fun from Men's Health mag:


Warnings From Mom That You Needn't Worry About

"You're gonna fall and crack your head open!"
Truth: Your skull can split like an egg, but it would require a severe impact, such as falling into the corner of a coffee table.

"Wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident!"
Truth: When emergency-room personnel cut the clothes off trauma patients, it's done so quickly that they never pay attention.

"Someday your face will freeze like that!"
Truth: No matter how far you stretch the corners of your mouth or how deeply into your nostril you plunge your tongue, facial muscles will never become paralyzed as a result.

"Don't go out without a coat or you'll get sick!"
Truth: Colds and flu are not caused by catching a chill.

"You'll poke someone's eye out with that!"
Truth: It's impossible to "poke out" an eyeball with a sharp instrument. What you'll probably do is pierce or rupture it.

"If you break a leg, don't come running to me!"
Truth: It's unlikely that you'd be able to run with a broken leg, but you could still walk. The muscles spasm and produce enough support to bear weight.



more later..

Chazz