Like a bridge over troubled water.. - OR - DO NOT PUSH!

Motivation:

"Failure is not fatal; failing to change will be." ~John Wooden

Diary:

Friday through Sunday - pig out on foods that weren't on the "acceptable diet list" and no workouts.

Monday-
b: eggs and sausage
s: protien bar
l: celery and peanut butter, xs, mixed salad with dressing
s: beer
d: pork egg foo yung and diet rite soda (ha ha. what a dichotamy. The worst possible greasy carb-filled chinese meal with a diet soda... ha!)
g: 2.25 miles on the elliptical, walk 1 mile, sauna.

Notes:

Driving into work today I noticed a big truck hauling material. It was a stout powerful vehicle and it had one big sign on it's back. It said "DO NOT PUSH". At that same time, the radio was playing "Like a Bridge over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkle. For some reason, the combination of these two images just stuck in my brain and I think there is some cosmic link between them and my attitude today.

I feel like that dump truck. The sign isn't derogatory, it is somewhat a warning not to get to close, in case it stops too soon, but also is a suggestion that "Hey, we are all going down this road together. Some of us aren't moving as fast as others would like to, but we are going to get there. If you are dissatisfied with my driving, then go around, or prepare to wait for the truck to pick up speed. It won't help to honk your horn or offer driving directions, because I know what direction I am going.

Sometimes I have to take a detour due to overcrowding or accidents ahead on the road. I am hauling a load (wide load, tee hee) and it takes a bit of energy (fuel) to get up to speed.

So, this weekend I took a little break from my haul. I decided to eat some of the things on my 'bad' list, and just relax and enjoy myself for a few days. The truck is still on the road, but has diverted off the interstate freeway and is going down some alleyways. DO NOT PUSH.

At that time, Bridge over Troubled Water lyrics: "Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way. See how they shine. If you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind. Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind. Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.

Nice image. I am a big powerful dump truck that is going as fast and strong as I can, while all my friends are sailing behind basking in the glimmer of my waves. Ok, maybe too much here, but still, nice image...

So, I did probably take a few steps back in the last week, as I haven't been driving as hard as I have been over the last few months. That being said, I did have a couple of 'reallity' visions and the lab results also have come back.

1st reality vision: I saw a large woman in a red shirt eating at a restaurant who was spilling out of her seat. I asked my friend Pat, "Do I look that big?" and he indicated, "No, but you used to." Remember that I couldn't fit in booths at restaurants, which was thoruoghly embarrasing and mind-numbing. Pat indicated "You are still working on it. You are still big, but you won't always be, you are working on it." This lady will now be known as the 'big red-shirt lady'.

2nd reality vision: TLC channel @ 9pm on Sunday night. They televised a show called "Half Ton Man" - Description: Patrick Deuel, of Valentine, Nebraska is officially the world's fattest man. He's been bedridden since the end of last year. Under 6 feet tall and just as wide, Patricks' 1,072 pound weight makes him the world's heaviest living man. The full horror of his situation was revealed when his friends refuse to take his horizontal lifestyle lying down.

This show was scary, but not for the reason that you might think. The show is worth watching, and if I get the chance, I will watch it again with a little more attention. The scary parts of the show included doctors looking at the charts and stating that this patient, who had now lost over 500 lbs and was moving around under his own strength, would someday be back in the hospital with the same problem. It is very common for people who lose weight to gain it back + more. If they don't keep up the effort constantly. It was associated with taking heroin or other hard drugs. If you were addicted to heroin, and beat the addiction, the doctors would advise that you never do drugs again, becuase it will be too hard to resist and the addiction would come back even harder and stronger than the previous time. The problem is that most people aren't surrounded by heroin all day, but all people (who live in plentiful countries) are bombarded with food all day through images, commercials, seeing people eating and such. This made me again reallize that the struggle is NOT losing weight. The mathematics and procedures of losing weight are relatively easy. IT IS KEEPING THE WEIGHT that is going to be difficult. It is too easy to slip, and too easy to just let things go. The hard thing of having a weekend like I had isn't that I might gain a little weight (but honestly there are weight loss theories that indicate that you should have a week of more calories every now and then, becuase this will send mixed signals to your body and will reset your starvation levels in your brain. If you go for too long depriving your body of calories it may spark a starvation warning in your system and stop you from body weight loss. ) The problem with pigging out is that some people who have addictions and easily are influenced, won't snap out of it and return to the training program.


3rd reality vision: My labs came back from the doctor.
Total Cholesterol - 150
HDL - 33
LDL - 105
TSH (thyroid) - normal
Glucose - 139 (normal should be 70 - 100)
+ Kidney, Liver, Blood, Calcium, Urinalysis - all normal

Doctor's notes included that my HDL is low, but it will increase with added excercise. My blood sugar is problematic, as this can indicate a diabetic onset. Decrease weight and add excercise. Recheck HDL and Blood Sugar in 6 months.


I wonder if the fact that I ate McDonalds 12 hours before my labs had any affect on the blood sugar levels? It probably was minor, but may have given a small bump. I don't think it would have made a big difference, but something to think about.


Other things going on this week:

• AC is getting fixed in car. Even though it is covered by extended warranty, it will cost $169 for my deductible and 'non-covered shop fees'. I have enjoyed the free service rental they let me drive while the Rendezvous was in the shop. It was a 2006 Mercury Mariner, and it had a sunroof, so I was riding around with wind flipping through my hair. It was fun, but I did reallize all of the little things that I really like about my vehicle that this one didn't have. I am glad that I chose the Buick Rendezvous, as it fits my needs very well.
• My PDA's screen cracked, which is one of the most annoying things that can happen to me. I want to scream, because I am so used to using my PDA, I use it every day to carry information that I use at work and at home and with information about my workout plans and blog ideas, etc. It is crucial, and now I am dealing with "life sans technology". It is ok, but I am still wanting my PDA. Oh, and i can get it fixed for, you guessed is $169. I am going to have to go for a while without it, or find a cheaper solution to this problem.
• I am considering getting a roomate. I have an extra room and could share my townhome, but am waffling in my decision if I want to give up my 'space' that I have come to enjoy. The additional sharing of costs might be a good thing, and I would still have space. Sharing space may be a good way to keep me from being a complete hermit... Thinking about it.
• Since the water softener was replaced, I haven't noticed any water leaking under my dishwasher. I am going to continue to watch this, and after next week, I will probably replace the foot sheild at the bottom of the dishwasher.
• My contracting job may be over at the end of June. In discussions with my director, she indicated that while there is more and more work to do, the budget is running low and there may not be money to extend my contract again. I think I am doing a good job, and have had very few issues. This is causing me to udpate my resume and look for other positions around town. Job searches can be stressful.
• I think that June is going to be a good month for my workouts. With the knowledge I have about the evil of sugars when dieting, I will be kicking things up a little with my diet, especially after 5pm at night. I may be mixing up my dinners to include protien shakes, and see how that works for me.

more later,

Chazz