"Hands of the Potter" by Caedmon's Call
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Lord if i'm the clay, Then i've been left out in the sun
Cracked and dry, like the mud from the sty
Still clinging to the prodigal son
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But I'm on my way back home
Yes I'm on my way back home
Into the hands, That made wine from the water
Into the hands, The hands of the potter
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Lord if i'm the clay then Let your living water flow
Soften up my edges, lord, So everyone will know
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Lord, when you listen for the song of my life
Let it be, let it be, a song so sweet
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Lord, if i'm the clay then lay me down
On your spinning wheel
Shape me into something you can fill
With something real
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"Hands of the Potter" by Caedmon's Call
Here a snippet of the song from Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/7mm44
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Diary:
B: bagel & peanut butter at men's morning group
S: turkey and carrots
L: lean cuisine and turkey and XS energy
S: orange and cheese and turkey
D: not sure. maybe shrimp and veggies? we will see.
workout: ran 16 minutes on elliptical + walked a mile
Notes:
Last night was Bday for Pdog, so I decided to stop at the 'bees' where I used to hang out nightly in the middle of my slump. (when I was younger and not wiser) I had 2 tall Miller Lites= 360 calories total, low carbs, ok choice. I had a protien bar to go with it, that I took from my pocket. That is like, 200 calories, so my evening was a 560 calorie jaunt. So here is the "Good Story - Bad Story" from my memories at the bee.
See the bee serves 6 different flavors of "Long Island Iced Tea" and I had a really stressful job. I made my job and my attitude an excuse for stopping in the bee and joining my coworkers with a cocktail or 13. On 'Rainbow Night', I would consume every color of the Iced Tea available. Problem is, I would get buzzed and then get hungry, so I would order food on top of the drinks. Lets remember that this is after 6pm, so I have already had a lunch, of at least 800+ calories.
the brutal math:
1 Long Island Iced Tea = 789 calories
x6 = 4734
+ McDonalds (big&tasty combo + 2 hamburgers and diet coke) = 1940
Total = 6674 (add 20% as I may be leaving something out) = 8008
this is a conservative estimate, so the real number is probably higher.
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So that is the "Bad Memory", last night was the good memory. Here was what was good about it:
1) It was pointed out by Kelly that my face looked much different than the picture on my license and also on the badge that I wear at work. I can see a difference starting to appear.
2) I was enjoying my view of a cute girl on the other side of the bar. She had blonde hair in pigtails, beautiful eyes and a great smile and laugh. She was wearing a grey sweatshirt, but was revealing a tight pink shirt underneath. She just had a french manicure, which was a turn on for me. I was staring at her for a while, and she would look my way every now and then and smile. I was making jokes to Pat, Ed, Paul and Joanne, and the cute girl accross was laughing and carrying on with the jokes. She was totally digging me. Only problem, she was with three other guys, and I wasn't quite brave enough to talk to her while surrounded by her posse. I can't wait until I am fully confident to take advantage of those situations. Oh I am going to be the ladykiller, that is for sure. The worlds most eligible bachelor. Move over Josh Hartnett.
3) At the end of the night (8:30), Pat asked "when will you be back in for a beer?" My responce: "3 weeks." "Really?" Pat inquired, "well, you had better keep this project going, or else we are all going to kick your ass..... see you in three weeks." That meant a lot for me to have his support. I can't wait to see the look on thier eyes when they see me drowning inside my 4x shirts.
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Other comments:
At the grocery store, the young dude behind the butcher case started chatting with me. "You are losing weight!" he said. "Do I know you?" was my response. He hadn't met me before, but was very encouraging. He gave me a couple peices of advice, and explained that he had just gone through a process of losing a bunch of weight and was just cheering me on. This kid, who I never have seen before, and would have cared less about a year ago took 15 minutes to motivate me about my plan, and give a jolt of support. I was flabergasted.
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A woman at work asked "Are you getting taller?" Nope, but I can see why she is asking. As I start to lose weight, a couple things will happen. 1) My posture is going to improve slightly as I lose the pouch. My back and legs will get stronger and my back will be straighter. 2) It is an opticle illusion. Since I am as wide as I am tall, I appear to be a short stocky fellow. As I lose the girth, my height will appear to be a little unusual. I am excited about being a foot taller. When I pointed out the difference in my picture on my badge and my current face, she indicated that I looked 7 years younger. She initially thought I was 40! ha ha
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Well, I am flooded with things to say, but I am running out of time. I would like to talk about all of the gifts and blessings that I am uncovering as I get more fit. Things like Confidence, Swagger, Flirtations, Self-Respect (and Other-Respect) and Energy to do the kinds of things that I felt were not something that a fat obese lazy man would do. I will have to elaborate on this more later, but I feel like if I can do this weight loss thing, there is nothing that I can't do. It make my work better becuase I am confident to make decisions and prioritize my work in ways that I did not before.
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Tommorow I think I will discuss the small tractor on my father's farm. There is a story there that needs to be told.
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Chazz
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